Twenty years ago Leilani Kuter experienced the sort of trauma that would defeat most women. She was attacked, raped, and left for dead.
It takes a special kind of person to get up and go on with life. A woman of incredible courage to rise above this and think, not only of her own trauma, but of that of the countless other women who have been abused in the past. Leilani realized that many of them would have just given up and not been able to ever speak of it. And she knew from experience that by hiding it, they were giving it power over them.
Leilani knew deep in her heart, that this is not the victim’s fault.
It is a well-known fact that abused women often feel that in some way it is their own fault. There are some judgmental people who feel entitled to say things like, “Look at how she dresses. She was asking for it.”
But Leilani knew deep in her heart, that this is not the victim’s fault. She told herself that she had just been at the wrong place at the wrong time, and that she would never allow it to stigmatize her in any way, or influence her life.
“I want to be a voice for other survivors,” she says, “and I want to make a difference. To really encourage people to talk about it because that has helped me.”
She was determined not to give any power to the rapist.
To reclaim her own power over her life and her ideals, she decided to start walking – not away from the trauma in fear, but towards freedom from any feelings of defeat.
She decided to walk 729 kilometres through various provinces. Along the way, she has met many people, some of whom have also suffered abuse. Others are just lost in admiration for a lady who is prepared to do something really hard to get a message of hope across to the people who need it.
Sometimes she has dedicated her walks to specific victims.
Her reward? It is the heart-warming response she has received from people of both genders who for many, many years have hidden this feeling of not being good enough.
“Therapy is very important to a rape survivor. Go and get help, because you deserve a happy life,” is the advice she gives to everyone.
One should never allow another person to define one’s life
They have been able to speak to her and free themselves of the feeling of being inferior in some way. Men, as well as women, can be victims of this cruel side of human nature. The fact that they too can join in her march shows how she has helped them to heal themselves.
One should never allow another person to define one’s life. Leilani has shown us all how to take control and win, and that actions like this can heal a broken spirit.
Hats off to a great South African heroine!
Edited By: Patricia Becker Stapleton
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